Why Coming Out Matters

Why Coming Out Matters

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, I initially wanted this post to be a response *can I respond to things like this ? I hope so* towards Ingrid Nilsen's recent coming out as a lesbian, following the great examples of recent, and less recent, coming outs of famous YouTubers such as Tyler Oakley (a long time ago now), Troye Sivan (two years ago), Connor Franta (six months ago), and Joey Graceffa (last month). (p.s. : Sorry if I haven't listed everybody, I try to take the examples of the "big numbers who kept it secret it for a long time" YouTubers, please tell me who I should add to this list).

But I'd rather respond to all the comments telling Ingrid that "it's not really important to know that she's gay", or "did you really need to come out with such a long video ? Like, we GET IT, you're GAY, don't put it on our faces", all the "I don't care"s, all the "oh, so inspirational, lol ! I am going to come out as straight, thanks for giving me the courage lol !" followed by dozens of answers going like : "hahaha me too, I really needed this today, I am going to come out as straight as well !" and all the "as a straight person, I support you guys, setting an example for straights" and such.

Because THIS is a part of the problem. Coming out is NOT a joke. You DON'T have a say on it because YOU didn't get to experience OUR experience (I'm a pan demi-romantic asexual btw). YOU didn't get all the SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, all the CRYING, all the CONFUSION, all the SELF-HATRED that WE (for the most part) went through.

Because when you know that these people, not only have hidden their true identites and their true selves for almost all their lives, when you know that they probably grew up in a untolerant, unacceptant place just like a lot of people, unfortunately, when you know that these YouTubers gained fame and still hid their sexualities because they believed that it DIDN'T MATTER, or that they would be HATED for it, YOU are a part of the problem.

Because, like everybody else, they were afraid of telling ANYONE about their sexual orientation and sexuality. And even more, for at the very least TWO of them (Connor and Ingrid), they had to deal with the internalization of the NEED to be heterosexual to fit into the norm by having relationships with the opposite sex/gender. So, when you're telling me that, when someone is hiding their true selves and identities for YOUR commodity as a hetero-normative society that deems ALL other sexualities and sexual orientations as ABNORMAL or FREAKY, when sex-ed doesn't teach you ANYTHING about spectrums and all sexualities/sexual orientations/genders/identities, when YOU bash them for being WHO THEY ARE and ACCEPTING THEMSELVES, YOU are a part of the problem why people still have to hide themselves and lie to everybody around, and even fake relationships and put on an act/a mask to "appear normal".

THAT IS NOT OKAY.

THAT IS WHY COMING OUT MATTERS.

Because, in the end, having millions of subscribers (as I already said in my YouTube Culture post), leads you to inevitably have a POWER on your followers/subscribers. And when people are using this power for GOOD and show a GREAT example of SELF-ACCEPTANCE in a biased, untolerant world, to show teenagers that are going through this RIGHT NOW, that it's OKAY to be WHO THEY ARE, and that they SHOULDN'T be AFRAID or INSECURE about themselves, THIS is the way to go.

So, congratulations, Ingrid. And all the others who came out before you, and all the others who will come out after you. Thanks SO much for showing that EVERYBODY deserves to be who they are without being judged for it.

Okay, that's it for today, and this wraps up another #DoubleSunday with a little sparkle of my own opinions about things ! If you have any questions about the matter, please tell me, I would be glad to answer them all !

And last but not least, our last word : KIDNEYS !