Fleeing the house, my new life, more horseshit

Fleeing the house, my new life, more horseshit

Hi everybody, Mary here !

So, many things happened this summer lmao. You know, adults always warn you about the summer of your 20 years. It's supposed to be the best summer of your life, everything is good, you're still young and discovering your newly found independance, you leave the parental house to study with your friends (if you have any lmao), and you find love (if you want to, and if anyone loves you the way you love them lol).

The idyllic presentation of this summer that was told by the adults didn't really happen.

Actually, this summer, I left my business school, am about to do the last year (since I was allowed to enter in the final year) of a linguistics/translating bachelor degree, I left my abusive step-dad and my mom who was too supportive of him, I fled behind her back (almost, I just did the phone call when I was alone for some groceries) and I am now living until the end of this month at my uncle's house, before going to a new flat that I asked for.

I since met new people and made friends on several Discord servers (but let's be honest, my faves are at the A-Spec Chat, they're like family to me and I love them so so so much), I recieved lots of support when I'm the target of ableism and other shit, and I feel so much better knowing there are people out there who I can talk to. Thank you.

On the downside, I realised I'm autistic, I've been put in forced therapy by medical doctors and my family, I'm the constant target of ableism and I hate it.

I guess that's it. I'm just getting my bachelor's degree for now, we'll see if I have the energy to get a master's degree later.

All in all, I hope I'll be posting more and more here and on my other social media, and I hope to see you really soon for new things !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

I Am Bigender

I Am Bigender

Hi everybody, Mary here !

So, here we are again, lmao, it's #MarysGenderExploration time !

So, it's all set (for now) ! I am bigender ! Hurray ! *party poppers*

My two genders are demiboy and demigirl. They fluctuate, overlap, sometimes I feel both, sometimes one more than the other, sometimes neither. My pronouns are he/she/they from now on.

Speaking of dysphoria, since I realised I could be trans/non-binary without dysphoria, I am more comfortable with my body. I still don't want surgery or hormones because I feel like they wouldn't fit me, however, social transition is something I'd like to see in the near future (a haircut, a binder, masculine/androgynous clothing since for now all I have is feminine af).

I also don't wanna change my name lmao. I have a connection with it that can't be shaken and a meaning I find poetic and pure, so I don't want to change it, hahaha. I hope I'm not the only one who is in this case.

The only concerns I have with my genders are the following :

1) can I be a WLW and a MLM at the same time, knowing that I'm pan, amd I ID more with demiboy when I envision my future with a man and demigirl when I envision myself with a woman ? (edit : I since have been told the term omnigay which is when your gender fluctuates but you're only attracted to your gender all the time and I love this term so so so much !!!)

2) I already know I am a WLW hahaha, but is it appropriative of "actual MLM" if i ask a man to treat me as such ? Is it a fetish that I have because I read too many gay men fanfictions ? Also : will I be subjected to transphobia ? Het men will be like "wtf you're not a man get real" and gay men will be like "I want a *real* man" (read : a cis man). Anyways I won't pursue cishet men bc cishets are gross and cis gay men because they probably deserve a man, trans or cis hahaha, not a fucking bigender like me. (self-esteem goes down the drain and never stops)

3) which leads to my next point : so basically men are out of the equation and I feel like I just wanna "be bigender just to be gay at all costs", lmaooooo, so why not just date women and call myself a lesbian lol ? Urgh if only. It would be so much easier. (edit once again : fuck the binary I am for now devoting my life to non-binary people and I am a proud diamoric)

4) I feel like I'm too complex hahaha, with all the already previous labels (pan demi-romantic asexual enby), will I ever be loved and respected for who I am ? hahaha (self-esteem : hello from down the drain lmao !)

Anyways. If you could help me decipher this blur that is my life at the moment, it'd be great, thanks !

I'll see you soon with a new post !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!

#GoodCisPeople, what a pile of horseshit

#GoodCisPeople, what a pile of horseshit

(Written on the 29th of July)

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, only a little under a month after #HeterosexualPrideDay, I thought this would be it, that the wouldn't be anything similar, like, ever.

I warned about a potential "#CisPrideDay" ? Hahaha. I wish it had stayed a joke and didn't become the fucking pile of fecal matter that is #GoodCisPeoeple. Seriously. I wish people didn't have the idea to create this hashtag.

So, here are a few things I learnt about cisgender people, on the 25th of July, 2016. (Please let never that happen again @Twitter.)

1) They still believe there are only two genders

Thank you so much for not only erasing non-binary genders, the people who identify as such, and oh ! all the cultures that contained more than two genders. I'd like to remind my fellow white folks that basically every POC culture *ever* contained more than the binary genders and that the binary is a white, European-centric invention. Non-binary genders within these POC cultures were forcibly erased via white colonialism and imperialism and if you try to tell me otherwise you're a piece of racist horseshit.

2) "The poor SJWs are so butthurt ! They are mentally ill people with made-up labels ! Tumblr did this ! Attention seekers ! Crybabies ! Tumblerinas !"

I will seriously not reply to these comments other than to say that you're a piece of disgusting trash, all words are made-up anyways it's not like there are "real words" on one side and "fake words" on the other one, you're disrespecting people who found/coined terms to describe their experiences accurately, you deserve to be shat on and fucking kicked in the groin for your blatant disrespect, and so on. You're the one harassing kids who did nothing to you besides finding their real self. Grow up and respect them you piles of fecal matter.

3) "This # is hateful towards cis people"/"Don't hate us and then expect us to respect you"/"I was born this way this isn't my fault"/[insert guilt-tripping arguments to make it like trans and nb folks are hateful and disrespectful and are the bad ones in this #]

ermmmmm... How do I explain it very simply to the cisgender mind...CISPHOBIA DOESN'T EXIST !!!!! YOU ARE NOT OPPRESSED FOR BEING CISGENDER !!!!! THERE IS NO SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION DIRECTED TOWARDS CISGENDER FOLKS !!!!! When you're killed for being cisgender, oppressed for being cisgender, when you have unequal rights because you're cisgender, when politicians pass laws expressedly against cisgender folks, because you are seen as a "safety threat" for being cisgender, please call me. Until then, shut the fuck up and listen to trans and nb folks.

These remarks are tone policing, refusing us the anger we feel because of our oppression, you speak over us blatantly and disrespect our conversation, this # was created by trans and nb folks to mock the transphobia and nb phobia we face everyday in a joke fashion, if you can't take a fucking joke without being offended then I am afraid to tell you : you're the butthurt crybabies who have nothing else to do with their lives besides harassing minors that you've never seen irl on a social media platform where it's probably the only place they can express themselves safely without a fear of judgement.

If you can correct yourself when you mistake an animal's gender, then you can do the same for me. Grow up. Stop throwing tantrums on people who did nothing to you. You're so pathetic it hurts. Goodbye and see you never.

Alright, this is it for today, I hope you enjoyed this post, and I will see you soon with another one.

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!