I'm friendzoning everyone !!! (1/14)

I'm friendzoning everyone !!!

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's the very first post of my (long-awaited ? I don't even know what people here want anymore...) series called The Fourteen Days Before The Fourteenth Challenge ! It's a little series right before Valentine's Day, all about relationships, served right from the person who's never been in one !!!!!

(I love irony and being ironic. If you dislike this, then you can come back in two weeks when I have something else to serve.)

Anyways... I'll start with a little confession of mine.

I'm friendzoning everyone.

Even though the friendzone is a concept created by horny straight males in order to explain « their bad luck » and their complete inability to get a girlfriend, their lack of communication skills and the fact that they think they « deserve » a girl's love just because they are being nice to them, I'd like to tell you something about certain types of « friendzone » that are, according to me, acceptable.

1. because you are not attracted to the person's gender (or not attracted at all)
2. because you are not ready for dating
3. because you are afraid of commitment or being in a serious relationship
4. because you just went through a bad episode and don't want this to happen again
5. because you just don't see that person the « romantic » or « sexual » way

Like I said, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone in particular (or anyone ever), then it shouldn't be your fault if you're sending them explicit messages that you don't want to date them, and they try to pursue you anyways. You have the rights to end the whatever relationship you had if you don't want it to continue.

My specific reason for friendzoning people is simply because of my asexuality, and my fear/disgust of sex. Like, if sex did NOT exist (or people understood that it isn't necessarily needed for a healthy, fulfilling relationship), then yes, I'd be gladly dating (only people that I know really well though. I am not pan and demi-romantic for nothing). But since this isn't the case and the world is heavily sexualised anyways...

I guess I'll have to wait until the miraculous one shows up and declares their flame for me.

Tomorrow, I'll be going to the cinema with that guy. It's simply because I had seen a very old movie that was going for on night at my local cinema (James Bond vs Dr No), and he said that it was his favourite James Bond, so we are going tomorrow evening.

Although he's probably going there just for the movie (he clearly told me he would have gone even if I wouldn't have been there), it just freaks me out to... like... going out... with a STRAIGHT DUDE... Google : how to give him hints that this is NOT a date...

And then the Straighties McHets™ tell me that I shouldn't be « friendzoning them » ? Maybe look less menacing and a little bit cooler and maybe I'll give it another try !

And maybe I won't Google « how to show him sings that I'm not interested and he should stop trying to hit on me » !

(Don't worry about me btw. This is probably my anxiety speaking. I mean, the guy is nice and all, he's a big nerd like me and we ate lunch together. I even made a joke about « getting a girl » and he didn't get offended. Did he get the hint I'm gay or... ???)

Anyways. We'll see what happens tomorrow, right ? And regardless of that, I'll see you tomorrow for the second post of this series + the review of the third episode of the revival of The X-Files !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!