Asexuality Isn't Real !!! (Stop The Stereotypes About Asexuality)

Asexuality Isn't Real !!! (Stop The Stereotypes About Asexuality)

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, I just stumbled across this video... and I was quite a little worried right there. Asexuality, linked to mental illness ? I don't think so.

Here are the few points that p*ssed me off quite nicely :

1. The fact that asexuality is considered as « low libido », when in reality, it's more like « lack of sexual attraction, regardless of gender ». But yeah. I thought you knew better, Arielle (and that you had learnt enough while making your asexual week).
2. The fact that asexuality is considered to be « too busy » or « not in the mood for sex ». It is completely wrong, many people are busy or not in the mood for sex and still experience sexual attraction, while some asexuals are not busy or can be in the mood for sex. They just don't experience sexual attraction.
3. Sexual attraction isn't libido. And asexuals can have low or high libido. Otherwise, we wouldn't see all these people going to therapy to get their libido back when they experience sexual attraction. This is seriously ridiculous.
4. Arielle, I'm going to stop you here when you said that you thought you « were asexual » because you didn't (and still don't, I suppose) want to have sex with men, untl you realised you wanted to have sex with women, and therefore realised you were a lesbian. This really hit close to home as I'm going to defend my hetero-romantic asexuals out there who are thought to be gay and in the closet when they come out as asexual. You can watch two videos about a hetero-romantic asexual right here : link.
5. Because you basically compared asexuality, which is a valid sexual orientation, to a mental illness. Which, by definition, is not only acephobic but also shows great erasure of mentally ill people (like me). So, if you're an asexual and are also mentally ill, you get, like... twice as much hurt as anyone by this video.
6. The fact that you just talked with a friend instead of asking actual asexuals, like you did in your asexual week videos, or even took the time to look up things or word it differently so it doesn't touch a subject you know NOTHING about (asexuality). I believe that the video you wanted to make was « is a low libido correlated to mental illnesses ? » which would have been less problematic in asexual regards, even though it still erases mentally ill people with a high libido or neuro-typicals who have a low libido. I still don't see the link between the two by the way... so, if anyone could explain, it'd be great. Thanks.
7. Your videos, Arielle, have a big impact on people, how they view themselves, and how they view others. You are a sort-of Internet teacher, and I'm glad that, just like your dear friend Ashley Mardell, you let people talk about their own experiences, during special weeks. These videos are educational, non-biased and give a voice to under-represented identities. Why did you do this, I do not understand. But many people in the comment section have expressed their concern about the video, telling you that it made them feel erased, misunderstood, or wrong when they are just asexual babes looking for a representative voice. Hopefully people will see Ashley's ace&aro trilogy which explains in depth asexuality and aromanticism and feel better about themselves. (By the way, the « It's A-Okay ! » anthem is so good and empowering of the ace/aro community and I love it SOOOOO MUCH !!!!!)
8. If you want a clearer expression of how bad people felt, I'm going to talk about another experience of mine. I identify as a pan demi-romantic asexual, and I have a preference for the ladies. When I watch videos like « lesbians reacting to bisexuals » (only the answer made by the bisexual women could fix my broken heart), or any lesbians expressing their negative thoughts on bisexual women, I feel like they are attacking all multi-sexual women. I feel like people disregard us as a part of the LGBTQ+ community, they don't want to include us because we are attracted to other genders, and therefore we are « straight ». (Unless they have a crush on a « straight girl », because in this case these lesbians will have this fetish of this straight girl actually being bi for them. But just for them though, which show their fetish of straight girls turning gay for them. Remember the videos « lesbians sleeping with straight girls » and « straight girls sleeping with lesbians » ? Yeah, exactly this.) Now, I'm weary of lesbians as much as I am of straight men, as they will believe I'm gay just because I said I'm pan. (That or the « I cured you from your queerness » speech. Please don't do this men. Unless you want your balls ripped off or something.) Do I have a reason for being weary ? Yes. Do these words hurt me ? Yes, they do. Is it going to dictate my life, segregating those people ? No. Because humans are humans and they can't choose their own identity.

(Okay maybe the last point was a little bit off-subject, but confession : as you're a lesbian and also participated in the « lesbians react to bisexuals » video, if I'm correct, it took me a very long time before I really trusted you and started watching your videos. Even now, some people still believe your channel is not really a safe place and there are some hateful/ignorant messages sometimes.)

Okay... this was a little rant and you probably apologised about it by now, but I wanted to ass my two cents in here. I hope you don't mind it !!!

Your fellow queer girl (loving to the moon and back),

Mary.

Anyways, that's it for today ! I really hope that you enjoyed this post and I'll see you very soon with another one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!