My Chronic Pain : My Knees Are Wobbly

My Chronic Pain : My Knees Are Wobbly

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, last Friday I went for my knee scans and the results are clear : they have been deformed by my valgus feet and pes cavus, but also the kneecaps are subluxated and the sides are weakened.

The scan doctor only noticed the subluxated kneecaps, and I'm so furious to see that no matter what you do, because my knees are deformed, the kneecaps literally can't be put back in their place, and the fact that the sides are weakened (like, literally, the bones are weakened af and I'm worried that it's just gonna get worse) is worrying.

I am so worried. Maybe some other bones of mine are weakened as well/subluxated and I'm worried af, and I'll have to go back to the doctor (for the third time !) to show her the scans. The scan doctor said "there isn't any problem, just subluxated kneecaps ! no sign of arthrosis/orthoarthrisis !!1!1!" (he didn't even like consider rhumatoid arthritis/arthritis in general but whatever !), but literally decided to ignore the weakened sides and the fact that they are deformed... fucking hell.

My mom also ignored my worries and called me a ps*cho and said that "my sides aren't weakened, it's just the bad scan quality, and even if you had weakened sides, you'll get shoe soles, and the bones will be reconstructed !!11!!". Also telling me "maybe the infection in your blood test was a little bacteria you had during your blood tests ! Seriously your C-reactive protein levels and sedimentation rate that are abnormally high don't mean aaaaanything !!1!1! lmao !!1!1!" won't solve my fucking problems !!!!!

Thank you so fucking much for like, thinking you have more knowledge than me about my own body, mom. And no, saying "okay, you'll still have deformed knees, but shoe soles will reduce pain, isn't that the point ?" will not solve everything. I don't just want the pain to stop (although I really want the pain to stop), I also want the deterioration of my knees to stop, because even if I'm not in pain anymore, if my knees (maybe other bones ?) keep deteriorating, they will, at a certain point, brake, and from here, try to "recover" anything.

Speaking of pain, now it has gone from a sharp, hot pain to a dull, cold pain, when my joints are used they turn super cold and stuff, and sometimes my legs/arms just feel numb and I can't feel them anymore. I don't know, really. I guess I'm just going back to square one !!!!! Fucking hell.

TL;DR of the chronic pain trilogy : I was in pain, I went to the doctor for a first time and she gave me meds and told me to do a blood test. It showed a high sedimentation rate and C-reactive protein levels, which are textbook signs of an infection/inflammation. I've gone back to the doctor, showed her the blood tests results, my mom spoke over me and told me "it's just because of her valgus feet/pes cavus !1!1! just give her some shoe soles and everything will be solved !!1!1!1!", and instead of listening to me and my worries about my own body (pain all over the body), the doctor only listen to my mom and just gave me more meds and told me to do some knee scans (since she only heard the "my knees are the most painful joints at the moment" and decided to ignore the "but really, all my joints are creaky" part !!!!!). I've done the knee scans that showed deformed knees, with weakened sides, and subluxated kneecaps, and an impossible recovery (in my opinion). Now, I have to show the doctor my knee scans and ask her... for more tests/scans, I guess ? I really don't know what to do and I'm being told I'm irrational/a ps*cho, my worries are brushed aside and no one listens to me !!!!! This is fine !!!!! /super high-level sarcasm

Anyways, see you soon with a new blog post I guess.

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !