Friends and depression

Friends And Depression

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's another thing that I wanted to talk about : in my business school, we got a lecture about well-being and depression (I don't remember how or when but it was surely in English and it was apt the lecture about sustainability and the non-economic factors of well-being).

It happened a few months ago, but this morning, since we talked about well-being and economic growth and non-economic factors of happiness, I was gently reminded about how having friends made you happier, and how friends could solve your depression, and how friends were everything you needed in life to succeed and be happy, and so on and so on.

I wanted to Google this to be sure, so I candidly typed "depression linked to friendship".

Obviously, I could only find posts linked to how Facebook makes everyone depressed because we compare ourselves to our supposed friends way too much and this social media was now only a race for more friends and more fame on the Internet, and I agree wit this fact : comparing yourself too much to others, focusing on your jealousy instead of your achievements, can make you sad, and in an extended period of time. depressed, maybe.

(I don't know, I never compare myself to anyone online or in real life. I know the drill and the negativity this brings in my life and I've decided to cut myself from it. and it makes me very happy to just express myself with no clichés or pretentions. Being myself, basically.)

But this isn't the lack of friendship that makes people depressed in the first place, like all these articles present the mental illness that is depression. It is because we are depressed that in the end, people don't understand us. They tell us to "get over it", they minimise our symptoms and the effects of depression in our daily lives, belittle and ridicule our own feelings, they tell us it's just a cry for attention or to attract their sympathy, and we're just fishing for pity from others.

The link between depression and loneliness should go this way, not the other way around. Depression causes loneliness, not the opposite. It's the general and social stigma around mental illnesses and the lack of information in the general media to sensibilise about mental illnesses that cause sufferers to be cut off from friends, family and loved ones, because they aren't heard or understood, while help from others and communication has been shown to be a good help for those having said mental illnesses, along with therapy and the good medication.

Because I'm tired of hearing the same people telling me "oh, you're depressed ? you should talk to people more often ! you should make friends around you ! this will help solve your depression !"... like can't you understand that I have NO ENERGY to socialise, on top of stress, anxiety, shyness and introversion ? Just let me do things at my own pace, God dammit !

Because I'm also tired of saying to everyone around me that I don't care about people around me when I obviously do, but I'm lying to hide my mental illness, because if people found out, God forbid what could happen to me.

Because I'm tired of hearing that I'm just "not trying hard enough", that I'm an ungrateful and lazy asshole, that I'm just anti-social, and that I'd rather live in a farm with goats.

(But when you think about it, I could just keep pet goats roaming freely and saving them from the rest of humanity and look at them all day while doing nothing. I'm pretty damn sure they haven't heard of the social stigma surrounding mental illnesses and that they'd lean a more friendly ear to my rambling than most humans on the whole planet.)

Sometimes, people need to know that this kind of mentality should change in order to see a better world, for everybody.

Anyways, gotta go. I really hope you enjoyed this post and I'll see you soon with a new one !

And as usual our last word : KIDNEYS !