I Am Non-Binary
Wow. That feels weird to say it like this.
But that's the truth now.
A couple of months ago, I made this post, called Social Awareness Or Gender Confusion ?, on which I was discussing about my gender dysphoria / body dysmorphia and the fact that I didn't feel "like a cisgender girl" anymore.
(By the way I still experience gender dysphoria / body dysmorphia, especially about my boobs. Some days I like them, some others I don't, and I don't want surgery even when I don't like them because of the permanent scarring and the fact that it's irreversible. Yeah you can call me a pissbaby but I am afraid of changing my body forever.)
After a couple of months of research online and many things read about genderqueer identities... I am proud to tell everyone that I am non-binary.
(Or a demi-girl. Sometimes. I use non-binary as a loose / general term, really. By the way, I use she/they pronouns now.)
Here are some things that I discovered since my gender confusion post :
- Buying male-scented shower gel made me feel better about myself. I don't know why, maybe it's just the masculine scent, but I love it. I am less apprehensive of showering now and I think I'll expand that soon to my perfume / deodorant. Then I'll have to explain to my mom why I like putting on male scents that are way too strong for me. But then, I could make a joke about how "male scents attracts all the ladies, am I right ???". Hahaha. I'm too funny for my own good sometimes.
- I bought a flannel at the boy's section the other day (I'm a very petite person so it was literally a flannel for thirteen-years-old). And not only it is cheaper (and way stronger and comfortable !!!), but I also felt more androgynous and I felt good while wearing it at school. No one made a comment about it, by the way. Either because they don't care, or because I'm the freak that everyone speaks behind their back so they can't hear.
- I maintain my stance on make-up. If there's no formal event, there's no need for me to plaster my face in things I don't even know how to use. I sometimes put on lipstick to look sexy (or to get kissed by a cutie, idk) though.
- I still shave, because I ADORE my smooth legs right after the shaving. It's totally worth the fifteen extra minutes every week in the shower with my shaving creme and a little sponge that doesn't even hurt at all.
- I headcanon the Mad Hatter as genderqueer and they're my dream role right now. I want to be the Mad Hatter. Let me be the Mad Hatter. Everyday I'm listening to that Melanie Martinez song and I love it. Please let my dream come true.
(And I'd love to do more male roles in theatre once I have the opportunity to do so.)
Yeah ! So, I hope you won't mind this change and I'll see you very soon with something new !
And as usual, our last word ; KIDNEYS !!!
A couple of months ago, I made this post, called Social Awareness Or Gender Confusion ?, on which I was discussing about my gender dysphoria / body dysmorphia and the fact that I didn't feel "like a cisgender girl" anymore.
(By the way I still experience gender dysphoria / body dysmorphia, especially about my boobs. Some days I like them, some others I don't, and I don't want surgery even when I don't like them because of the permanent scarring and the fact that it's irreversible. Yeah you can call me a pissbaby but I am afraid of changing my body forever.)
After a couple of months of research online and many things read about genderqueer identities... I am proud to tell everyone that I am non-binary.
(Or a demi-girl. Sometimes. I use non-binary as a loose / general term, really. By the way, I use she/they pronouns now.)
Here are some things that I discovered since my gender confusion post :
- Buying male-scented shower gel made me feel better about myself. I don't know why, maybe it's just the masculine scent, but I love it. I am less apprehensive of showering now and I think I'll expand that soon to my perfume / deodorant. Then I'll have to explain to my mom why I like putting on male scents that are way too strong for me. But then, I could make a joke about how "male scents attracts all the ladies, am I right ???". Hahaha. I'm too funny for my own good sometimes.
- I bought a flannel at the boy's section the other day (I'm a very petite person so it was literally a flannel for thirteen-years-old). And not only it is cheaper (and way stronger and comfortable !!!), but I also felt more androgynous and I felt good while wearing it at school. No one made a comment about it, by the way. Either because they don't care, or because I'm the freak that everyone speaks behind their back so they can't hear.
- I maintain my stance on make-up. If there's no formal event, there's no need for me to plaster my face in things I don't even know how to use. I sometimes put on lipstick to look sexy (or to get kissed by a cutie, idk) though.
- I still shave, because I ADORE my smooth legs right after the shaving. It's totally worth the fifteen extra minutes every week in the shower with my shaving creme and a little sponge that doesn't even hurt at all.
- I headcanon the Mad Hatter as genderqueer and they're my dream role right now. I want to be the Mad Hatter. Let me be the Mad Hatter. Everyday I'm listening to that Melanie Martinez song and I love it. Please let my dream come true.
(And I'd love to do more male roles in theatre once I have the opportunity to do so.)
Yeah ! So, I hope you won't mind this change and I'll see you very soon with something new !
And as usual, our last word ; KIDNEYS !!!
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