I Am Bigender

I Am Bigender

Hi everybody, Mary here !

So, here we are again, lmao, it's #MarysGenderExploration time !

So, it's all set (for now) ! I am bigender ! Hurray ! *party poppers*

My two genders are demiboy and demigirl. They fluctuate, overlap, sometimes I feel both, sometimes one more than the other, sometimes neither. My pronouns are he/she/they from now on.

Speaking of dysphoria, since I realised I could be trans/non-binary without dysphoria, I am more comfortable with my body. I still don't want surgery or hormones because I feel like they wouldn't fit me, however, social transition is something I'd like to see in the near future (a haircut, a binder, masculine/androgynous clothing since for now all I have is feminine af).

I also don't wanna change my name lmao. I have a connection with it that can't be shaken and a meaning I find poetic and pure, so I don't want to change it, hahaha. I hope I'm not the only one who is in this case.

The only concerns I have with my genders are the following :

1) can I be a WLW and a MLM at the same time, knowing that I'm pan, amd I ID more with demiboy when I envision my future with a man and demigirl when I envision myself with a woman ? (edit : I since have been told the term omnigay which is when your gender fluctuates but you're only attracted to your gender all the time and I love this term so so so much !!!)

2) I already know I am a WLW hahaha, but is it appropriative of "actual MLM" if i ask a man to treat me as such ? Is it a fetish that I have because I read too many gay men fanfictions ? Also : will I be subjected to transphobia ? Het men will be like "wtf you're not a man get real" and gay men will be like "I want a *real* man" (read : a cis man). Anyways I won't pursue cishet men bc cishets are gross and cis gay men because they probably deserve a man, trans or cis hahaha, not a fucking bigender like me. (self-esteem goes down the drain and never stops)

3) which leads to my next point : so basically men are out of the equation and I feel like I just wanna "be bigender just to be gay at all costs", lmaooooo, so why not just date women and call myself a lesbian lol ? Urgh if only. It would be so much easier. (edit once again : fuck the binary I am for now devoting my life to non-binary people and I am a proud diamoric)

4) I feel like I'm too complex hahaha, with all the already previous labels (pan demi-romantic asexual enby), will I ever be loved and respected for who I am ? hahaha (self-esteem : hello from down the drain lmao !)

Anyways. If you could help me decipher this blur that is my life at the moment, it'd be great, thanks !

I'll see you soon with a new post !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!