Stop Lying To Yourself (And To Others)

Stop Lying To Yourself (And To Others)

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's another problem I've recently found myself with : at the beginning of this year (January & February), I got a mental breakdown, because of numerous problems in my life (including depression, chronic insomnia, eating disorders, and such, soz). And in the end, I actually hadn't fully realised why...

Until my mom talked to me on the phone for an hour straight, during the winter holidays I had spent at the dorm instead of going back home, as I used to do every six to eight weeks.

My problem was, basically, that I was a compulsive liar. Not only I kept lying to others, but I also kept lying to myself, about who I was, who I wanted to become, what job I wanted in the future, about my career, my dreams, my hopes, my expectations, my wishes, my fears, my anxieties, and so on. I kept lying so much that I ended up believing my own lies.

And that's what had prevented me from being honest, not only to others but also to myself. When you're having problems in your life, that are indeed affecting it in the worst way possible, lying isn't a remedy. It just prevents yourself from getting help, the help you actually need in order to cope with your problems and just overcome them.

And at that point in my life, one of the critical periods of my life, my mom telling me I should be entirely and utterly honest, not only with her and myself, was actually the most helpful thing I've ever heard.

When I was with her on the phone, I made her a promise : that no matter what was happening in my life, good or bad, I would tell her. That I shouldn't be afraid, or ashamed of being sad, depressed, or in failure. That being stressed and/or nervous before exams or oral presentations was okay, in the end. And also, she told me that she hated the lies I had spent such a long time spreading around instead of telling the truth. (And I feel SO MUCH BETTER telling her the truth, because now, she can give me advice and tips on how to overcome the actual problems in my daily life !)

Now, I'm in a business school, very far away from home, living on my own. I'm very happy about how my life turned out to be, and I'm still looking forward to the future and how bright it looks. I know what I want to do now : I want to create my very own publishing house to help others develop their creativity and skills and, basically, be successful writers, thanks to me. Just thinking about it makes me very happy.

Maybe my life will change by the time I start working, but you know what ? It's time for me to move on. To take all the opportunities in front of me. And start being truthful to others, and to myself, because that's how, in the end, I'm making myself happy everyday.

And I'm telling the truth. Not only to others, but also to myself. You know, it's very therapeutic to analyse yourself and your feelings before making an irrational and/or an important decision.

What is the moral of this story, you may ask ? Well...

« Stop lying to yourself. And to others. Because when you're lying, not only you're hurting yourself, but you're also hurting others in the process. »

-theuncannymary, after crying like a baby because of a Robin Williams tribute video

Seriously though. You'll probably disappoint people in the process, because you're not that good at school, because you're having difficulties, because you're in trouble. Maybe, in the short term, it's not going to look that appetising. But in the long term, when you get the help you need, and get the comprehension from your friends, family and loved ones...

This will be your reward for being truthful and honest. To yourself and to others. Because you gotta admit it when you need help. This is always the first step to get the problems you're stuck with solved. FOR GOOD.

Okay, that's it for today ! I really hope that you enjoyed this post and I'll see you very soon with another one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

P.S. : Now I HATE lies, white lies, big lies, and liars, those people who lie to either lie to themselves, or to others, in order to hide secrets or problems. The warning HAS BEEN SET.