The Uncanny Fail #4

The Uncanny Fail #4

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's to another Uncanny Fail ! This one is a little bit weird, I know, but... YES, I have never been in a relationship ever in my life. I've had two crushes on close guy friends of mine, but nothing every happened between us. And today, I am here to explain to you why.

I Don't Understand Anything About Love

So, yes, that's the truth. I don't understand anything about love. I mean, first of all, I am an asexual. So, it means that I don't understand when people see someone and say « Hey, I really want to have that one, please. ». I don't understand how people are tempted by others. I don't see how they get wasted to get someone and hump them. It's funny, because I've never talked about my asexuality to people in real life, because I know that they don't understand the fact that I don't experience sexual attraction when they do. I guess that in the end, as an asexual, I don't understand sexual attraction and how people experience it. Maybe I never will as they will never understand asexuality. But hey, that's life, and sexual attraction (or lack thereof) won't ruin mine.

Secondly, I am a demi-romantic. So, I don't understand when someone tells me « I can't stay in a couple for more than a year », or « Wow, it's been three whole years with them now, so I guess it's going to last now ». I don't understand why people feel the need of cheating, sometimes. I don't guess how people fall in and out of love... quite easily, in the end. Why people see romance as big gestures only done once a year ***wink wink to anyone who understands*** and restaurants, roses and expensive stuff (which means that it's very rare to see it often), whereas I see it as daily little things, little reminders. The smell of pancakes (vegan please) in the morning. A little note left in a bag. A bunch of funny pictures taken at the photobooth. I don't ask for many things, in the end. Just the company of a person I love, and who loves me in return. I am a very simple girl, you know ? And I think that people complicate things, in the end.

Last but not least, I am pan. Meaning : OMG that girl is queer she'll try to hump all the ladies out there. What a dike. Seriously. Maybe it's a part of my pan nature, but I don't understand how people can... well, say « I like this gender but not that one. », you know ? It. Is. Impossible. For me, at the very least. But hey, I am not here to judge, everyone's entitled to live their own lives. I am just saying this because I have seen this, about multi-sexual people. Straights/Homos saying but how can you know you're attracted to multiple genders ? how does it feel like, in the end ? Well, I don't understand how you can be attracted to only one gender too ! Weird, am I right ? It's called having different points of view. And EVERYONE should respect the others for theirs while we absolutely can keep our own. Oh, and about those telling us that we have to prove our multi-sexuality : WE. DON'T HAVE. TO. DO. THAT. I am not asking a gay man if he's ever sucked another guy's cock, or a lesbian if she's every licked some other girl's pussy. Heck, I am not even asking a straight man if he's had a girl or a straight girl a boy. Why would we have a history of our relationships and crushes to validate our sexuality or sexual orientation ? After all, WE are the only ones who do that (or more likely, have to do that), am I right ?

So, in the end : I don't understand. Maybe I haven't found the right person yet. Maybe they're right here and I don't even know about it. Maybe I am not looking hard enough. But hey. Life is life and I am the only person to choose when the time is right and the person is too. The pressure of being in a relationship all the time doesn't make me want to have a partner (especially in this hetero-normative world where a queer relationship would be very badly seen. I mean, I don't really care about this anymore, but I'd like some respect, you know ?), but rather run away and save myself before someone tries to pressure me into one I don't want to have. Also, maybe I'm just not mature enough to understand how people fall in love, in the end. But again, last note, this one on the demi-romantic side : I only feel romantic attraction (no sexual one since I am an asexual) once I am a very close friend to the people I know. It only happened twice,with guys since I've always had more guy friends that lady friends. So, I don't feel like it will happen for a while, and sometimes, I think about whether I will actually get in a relationship or not. If I'll find the right person. So, I am still looking for them, if they're here... Anyways. Whatever will happen, will happen, right ?

Okay, that's it for today ! I hope that you enjoyed this little fail and I will see you very soon with another one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !