Forever Alone ? (5/14)

Forever Alone ?

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's something that I can relate to (since I've never been in a relationship in my entire life)...

And it's my utter and extreme fear of staying « forever alone ».

Especially when Valentine's Day is rolling around, showing up its litte pointy nose, all I can see around me is PDA, PDA here, PDA there, people being lovey-dovey everywhere, unable to control themselves.

And I get the fact that many people (myself included), can get jealous of these « selected few », who have « the luck to be in a relationship », who are the Chosen Ones™ to feel « the miracle of love », and all of that romantic bullsh*t about how special it is to meet your « soulmate » who has « one out of a trillion chances to ever appear in front of you » (which is even more ironic when you know that many people will have multiple relationships in their lifetime, which is perfectly okay btw).

And so, here some (and I'm coming with them) the wave of butthurt singles who are just wishing to be in a relationship. You know, at this point, it's not even to be in love or anything. It's because amato-normativity has tried, again and again, to prove them that if they aren't in a relationship by age x, they are worthless, they are « lesser human beings » than those who are in a relationship, that they are doomed to loneliness, and that they'll never find « the one ». (Or that being a virgin past a certain age shows your failure at life in general.)

And I totally understand the fact that sometimes, it's getting on your nerves to know that just because you're single, then you're not « a whole person », but just « a half waiting for another half »...

Which is very destructive and acephobic and arophobic.

And then, you have the other people. I get the fact that they're trying to be supportive and cheering us up and trying to make us see the good side of things instead of the bad one, and they say things along the lines of « but you know, one day, you'll find the one ».

But you know what ? « one day » is NOT on my calendar. It has never been and it will never be.

Because this is such an abstract concept, right ? One day, the one... one day, you will be in a relationship... one day, you'll be happy...

But this doesn't change the current situation, the current sadness, the current loneliness. My perception of reality, as I've learnt in Organisational Behaviour at my business school, is as important as reality itself, for any given individual.

Which means, that even if objectively, I'll end up meeting a partner I'm happy with and in a happy, fulfulling relationship, this doesn't change my current perception of reality, which tells me that I'm just a f*cked up human being that doesn't know any better and who will never find « the shoe to fit her feet ».

In the end, let's appreciate single people as much as people in a relationship, and all humans, equally, even if Valentine's Day is supposed to celebrate love. (or romance & sex, should I say, tbh.)

Okay, that's it for today ! I really hope that you enjoyed this post and I'll see you tomorrow with the next post in the series !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !!!