Uncanny Fails #12 and #13

Uncanny Fails #12 and #13

Hi everybody, Mary here !

So, here are two more Uncanny Fails for the end of the year with some things I've seen recently that I hate very much and I would like them to stop existing thanks !

Without any further ado, let's get started, shall we ?

I Hate Surprises !

The very first one is about surprises.

Yes I hate them with a burning passion. The worst sentence you could ever tell me would be « Yes, I have something for you, but it's a surprise ! »

Because I guess that I'm a little control freak who hates not knowing everything around her and who is really eager to know everything you're planning for me because otherwise I'm just gonna spend the entire waiting time just thinking about what could happen to me when you finally unleash the surprise.

In the end, don't get me unplanned things because I hate them. Or at the very least, give me a hint so I can know what I can roughly get.

Anyways, I know that most people have good intentions. But I guess that I'll have to learn to accept surprises nicely...

I Hate Teasing !

The second one is a little bit more complex as it concerns more people than just the ones who want to give me something.

This is about teasing. You know, the people who are two things at the same time :

« OH YEAH I'VE DONE SOMETHING SO VERY GOOD SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE IT OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AMAZING SO GREAT JUST THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD OH MY GOD !!! »

and also this on the other hand :

« BUT THIS IS TOP-SECRET LIKE I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT THIS IS SO TOP-SECRET I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN TALK ABOUT IT GUYS I'LL PROBABLY GET SUED FOR SAYING THIS AND I HAVE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BEFORE I GET CAUGHT OKAY SEE YOU LATER GUYS !!! »

Which, when mixed, sounds a little bit like that :

« OH MY GOD I'VE DONE SOMETHING VERY GOOD BUT THIS IS TOP-SECRET BUT SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE IT BUT THIS IS SO TOP-SECRET OH MY GOD I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN TALK ABOUT IT GUYS BUT THIS IS SO AMAZING BUT I'LL PROBABLY GET SUES FOR SAYING THIS BUT THIS IS SO GREAT AND I HAVE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE I GET CAUGHT OKAY BUT THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD SO SEE YOU LATER GUYS OH MY GOD !!! »

Which is the worst thing that every existed tbh.

Because either :

1. It is a secret and you're not allowed to talk about it because of copyright reasons, because it's a surprise – which I ABSOLUTELY HATE – and you'll get sued if you talk about it ; in this case, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT HOW EXCITED YOU ARE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE WORD SECRET THEN JUST DON'T EVER BE GRANTED THE ACCESS TO A TOP-SECRET PROJECT SINCE YOU ARE A SPOILLED LITTLE PIECE OF FIVE-YEAR-OLD SHIT WHO CAN'T HOLD A SECRET LIKE A PROPER GROWN-UP CIVILISED PERSON WHO, UNLIKE YOU, WOULD RESPECT THE SECRET AND KEEPT IT A SECRET UNTIL THE REVEAL. PIECE OF SHIT SCUM LEAVE THIS PLACE RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING ANYWAYS.
2. It isn't a secret and in this case you're just hinting something as a secret project when it isn't really – and in this case SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT JUST TELL US AND GO AWAY IN YOUR PILE OF SHIT SINCE THIS IS ALL YOU PRODUCE ANYWAYS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO GIVE US SURPRISES YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE PIECE OF SCUM WHO DOESN'T DESERVE ANYTHING IN THEIR LIVES GOODBYE.

I hate people who are teasing. Most of the time, these are celebrities who have the dullest life ever and who just love having conspiration projects among famous friends, they don't give a fuck about their fans and they just want you to be jealous of them and their « fantastic lives » who are paid by you, being little pieces of shit fangirls who brainlessly follow them wherever they go without even thinking about the consequences.

And « We just wanted to tell you what we're up to ! » isn't an excuse. A secret is a secret, PIECE OF SHIT BASTARDS !!!!!!!!!!

Anyways... I hate teasing.

Alright, this is it for today ! I really hope you enjoyed this post and I'll see you very soon with a new one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !