Name and Pronouns Change !

Hello hello.

Well... it's been a couple months now that I've been considering changing my name so here it is... I'm making an official announcement because although I won't be changing the URLs or anything, my name is changing and I want people to be aware of it.

I've chosen the name Élie ! Voilà lol. Now, how to finally associate this name with me when I look into the mirror even though I've been thinking about it for months and address my own internalised transmisia... thats gonna be another issue.

Also, from now on, I will be using exclusively they/them pronouns. For other languages, neutral language is preferred (for example, hen in Swedish, iel in French...). If it is totally impossible, I will accept masculine language, but not feminine language, as it makes me feel super dysphoric.

Voilà, that's all ! Thanks for reading and I will see you soon !

KIDNEYS ! (yeah, don't expect me to drop that just because Capaldi is out of Doctor Who XD)

What I've Done For The Last Fucking Year And A Half

Oh wow it's been such a long time since I last posted here.

Anyways.

I just wanted to give y'all a little life update and what happened during my 2017 and 2018 so far !

I watched the Doctor Who 2016 special. To be quite honest, I didn't find this episode as tremendous as the previous Christmas Specials. The enemies were kinda creepy and the plot was really nice, but you could really see that there was an atmosphere of the "weird era" between two companions...

About the plot, I think it was kinda great, except when you realise that all that the man wanted was to get his lady ? I don't know. I mean, it was good, but not really... memorable ? I liked Nardole, that's pretty much about it. Oh, and when the Doctor brings food in the middle of a very action-packed scene. That was great.

Otherwise, it was very cliché, the sterotypes of "Oh, I gotta protect you and stuff, I can't reveal my real identity", and it just shows that the dude is just replicating his own favourite comic books in real life. It was good... just not great.

Then I watched series 4 of Sherlock (the BBC version), and tbh it was full of queerbaiting and it was shit (especially the last episode imo).

I got my bachelor's degree in foreign languages and I'm getting in a Master's degree in Linguistics and Communications ! Yay ! At this rate imma become a political journalist/activist hahaha !

I also bingewatched the third series of Broadchurch and the third season of Fargo. Broadchurch was good, a little bit triggering though since the main case is about rape, and Fargo was good too, although they murdered the characters I was supporting the most (won't tell you though, to not spoil you, but it's very sad).

(I am also looking for similar TV shows to Broadchurch, like a whodunit with a main case over a series/season each, with drama, and how crime affects the people around the victims, and stuff like that, like, a TV show with a very similar mood/aesthetic to Broadchurch please !)

Talking about my mental and physical health, I'm getting better (although I had a fucking burnout during the end of the first semester that lasted the whole winter and I am still recovering from it). I am actually looking forward to therapy (that I started a few weeks ago) and coming out as trans/nb to my family (and also changing my name at a certain point because my deadname makes me feel more and more dysphoric everyday tbh). I am more secure in my gender than ever and I am finally reclaiming the word transgender for myself. (I would love to do my coming-out to my family via a book that would talk about trans/nb stuff hahaha !).

Physically, I am just juggling between doctors, I've done back and pelvis scans that revealed that they are both deviated 7mm to one side but apparently it's "nothing" for the doctors and I am "perfectly healthy". I also went to the dentist and my jaw is inflamed so imma go back for more physical therapy lol. I am more looking at fibromyalgia and CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) to see if my symptoms are the ones described by those two diagnoses. I just don't know at this point. It looks like my body just accumulates "small things" that go unnoticed and that just causes a lot of pain in the end. I just wish that I had a diagnosis and something that works to calm it down because my pain meds just don't cut it...

Anyways, I will stop there. I hope everything's good for you and see you soon hopefully !

And always, our last word : KIDNEYS !

Advent Calendar #25 : What I Want For Christmas

Advent Calendar #25 : What I Want For Christmas

(dedicated to a special someone <3)

What I want for Christmas

Is for someone to say me "yes"

I've known her now for quite a while
And I think it's finally time.

I am a little worried and very apprehensive
And I hope it will go okay
After all it is only my first time
Asking for such a strange thing.

But she is the cutest and oh so worth it
And she will (maybe) recognise herself in this
I promised myself I would wait until Christmas
So now it is time to ask her the crucial question :

Will you be pretty please my zucchini ?

101 words.

Advent Calendar #24 : A Merry Autistic Christmas !

Advent Calendar #24 : A Merry Autistic Christmas !

If you celebrate Christmas or any holidays

With someone who is autistic,

Please hear these words of wisdom

Coming from an autistic adult themself.

Please be patient with us, as we might get overloaded ;

Loads of lights and sounds and people quickly exhaust us.

So, please prepare a quiet room for us, just for us to rest

So we can enjoy the festivities even better.

Please also give us time to open our presents, as surprises

Aren't our forté. Sometimes, we might need to know

What's inside before we open it. Or even prefer money

Or vouchers for our favourite store, and let us buy things on our own.

If you're wondering what you should get to an autistic person,

Don't be afraid to ask us ! Things that are related to our special interests,

Are usually your best bet with us. Or maybe start learning something with us !

We would love to share things with you during these holidays.

Also, please be understanding and clear with your plans,

And feel free to involve us in any cooking, preparations and planning !

We would love to participate in the making of the festivities

As it will allow us to control and know what will happen next.

In the end, treat us like any other guest, just a little different ;

Invite us in your conversations, and at your tables ;

As we are just as worthy as you

To have a merry Christmas and holidays.

247 words.

Advent Calendar #23 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 9

Advent Calendar #23 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 9

"Not at all, Helper, the King replied. I am afraid to tell you,

But I have never heard such rumours. Why would you suspect the Palace first ?"

"I just thought you would have some news, but apparently you don't.

I will interoggate your subject then, and hope they will have more answers than you do."

"Wait ! the King stopped Helper as they were walking away.

I... we know about something. A group of rebels, in the West Coast,

Talked about some revenge, and children, and gifts... I don't know more.

But please, spare my subjects. They are loyal and deserve the best."

"Well, I will go there, thank you. You will be rewarded for your loyalty,

If we find Santa Claus alive. If not... please be prepared to bear

All the consequences of this act of terrorism. Is it clear, your Majesty ?"

"Very clear, Helper. I will make sure everything goes alright."

The King even dispatched some of his own troops to help Helper

To find back Santa Claus. A couple hours later, they were arrived

At the place mentioned by the King. "Looks like the engine used

To kidnap Santa Claus, Helper.", a soldier said.

The troops then decided to go down on the place, tracking it down

And finding Santa Claus, alive, in a room. He was safe.

Next to him, was the chief of the rebels. "Why did you do this ?", Helper asked.

"Why did you kidnap Santa Claus ?"

"Because we're tired ! Human children get everything they want,

And we don't ! This is just unfair ! We work and slave away

For these little creatures that never give us anything back !

We want our share of the benefits, too !"

"I'm afraid, but this is life, Helper responded. You will be punished

Accordingly to your acts. Such treason should never be accepted.

Your King, however, will be pleased to know that, since he denounced you,

He will be rewarded. Ironic, isn't it ? Let's go, everyone !"

And this is how the Penguins learned that the Factory didn't care about them at all.

354 words.

Advent Calendar #22 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 8

Advent Calendar #22 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 8

Santa's Little Helper started their negociations

By knoching on the door of the Penguin Palace.

There, they were conducted to his Majesty, Joseph The Third,

King of the Penguin Land.

"You prompted to see me quickly, Helper, the King said.

Is there a problem ? Did we do something... wrong ?"

"We are worried, your Majesty, and are afraid to tell you

That Santa Claus disappeared, a few days ago."

"We are suspecting some Penguins to be around this affair,

As traces of one of your engines has been found near the Factory,

And this card was found on his bed. Would you have any informations

About this incident, your Majesty ? Among... your subjects, for example ?"

118 words.

Advent Calendar #21 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 7

Advent Calendar #21 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 7

Santa's Little Helper, before leaving, increased the guard

Around Mrs Claus' apartments, and made sure that she would be followed

By armed police forces at all times, for her security.

Santa Claus' wife didn't object, after all, she was scared too.

Helper then decided to start the operations to go northwards,

Towards the Penguin Lands. He knew what he was doing,

And where he was going. He just had to follow the trails,

Quickly, before the snow would cover them all.

"Here is our plan, Helper told the other military Elves

That were with them. We're here to peacefully interrogate
The Penguin King and will try to have a peaceful negociation
With him. However, if it doesn't work... pray we don't have to use lethal methods."

126 words.

Advent Calendar #20 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 6

Advent Calendar #20 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 6

On the next day, the worst worries of Mrs Claus were confirmed ;
The traces found behind the factory did in fact belong
To some Penguin vehicle that was headed in the direction
Of the Penguin Land.

"Mrs Claus, Santa's Little Helper said, since your husband is missing,
You are the highest graded person in the whole Factory.
We need your permission to go investigate in the Penguin Land
And interrogate the King, if you allow us to do so."

"Well then, I don't think we have a choice,
Mrs Claus said almost in a whisper. You are allowed to go.
But please promise me something : don't enter a war so quickly,
And please, stay safe. You matter more than you think."

123 words.

Advent Calendar #19 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 5

Advent Calendar #19 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 5

On the next day, however, Santa's Little Helper found out

Something very strange as reported by their police officers ;

There had been traces of some vehicles around the Factory

That didn't belong to Elves, Reindeers or Santa Claus himself.

"This must be analysed immediately.", they said with a firm tone.

"I want the results as soon as possible. If we have proof of foreign entrance

In the Factory, this could lead to the possibility of a kidnapping.

Santa Claus' life could be in danger as we speak."

Santa's Little Helper, of course, had to warn Mrs Claus of this information

And they even advised her to leave the Factory for the time being.

"What if something bad happens to you, milady ? I cannot afford

To lose you, after your husband. It is only temporary, and for your safety."

"No, I will stay here. I will not leave the Factory,

And as long as it needs a leader, it will be me, Helper.

Now, please feel free to give me any news about my husband

And increase the security perimeter around my house, if you're so concerned."

188 words.

Advent Calendar #18 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 4

Advent Calendar #18 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 4

Santa's Little Helper decided to investigate

Around all the people who could have had an access

To Santa Claus' bedroom and who could have left behind

The mysterious letter from the Penguin Land.

On the other hand, they had sent some Elvian Police Forces

At the border with the Penguin Land, freshly created

By Penguins who wanted to discover

The beauties of the North.

"What is the most plausible hypothesis

That could explain what happened to Santa Claus, sir ?"

The Chief Inspector enquired as they were going through the list

Of potentially harmful Elves or Reindeers. "We will find out soon.", they replied.

104 words.

Advent Calendar #17 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 3

Advent Calendar #17 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 3

The other Elves hadn't been warned, of course
Of Santa Claus' vanishing since the morning.
It would only cause harm and chaos in the Factory,
And the gifts still needed to be made for Christmas.

Santa's Little Helper decided to conduct their investigation
In secret, and started by asking questions very privately
To all the people who had seen Santa Claus last.
Apparently, no one had seen him since the day before.

Santa's Little Helper was about to give up when suddenly
They saw a little postcard on Santa Claus' drawer ;
It was showing the Penguin Land, a democracy far away,
That only read the few words : see you soon !

113 words.

Advent Calendar #16 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 2

Advent Calendar #16 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 2

"What ? How is it possible ? Santa's Little Helper asked.

Have you looked for him everywhere ?"

"Yes, I have, and he's nowhere to be found !

Which is surprising, because he never leaves in December !"

Santa's Little Helper decided to all a team of Detective Elves,

Mounting the Special Reindeer Brigade. Together, they were the police

In the Factory, ensuring that crime was punished

And criminals put to jail.

Because yes, there were criminals in the Factory,

And the Claus Family didn't like them at all.

They were punished very harshly,

Even worse then naughty children.

Santa's Little Helper then decided to form a team

To find what happened and to bring Santa Claus back,

And as the investigation began,

The countdown to Christmas started as well.

130 words.

Advent Calendar #15 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 1

Advent Calendar #15 : Santa Claus' Vanishing, Part 1

One morning as the Factory was starting,

And the Elves and the Reindeers and all the other animals

Were working on training or preparing gifts for all children

Across the world, something happened.

An Elf, supposedly Santa's Little Helper,

Was doing their controlling around when suddenly

They recieved a message from Mrs Claus

Telling them to come immediately in her office.

"Is something wrong, madam ? the elf enquired.

You usually don't call me that often. Is something wrong ?

Something about the production, the Elves, or the Reindeers ?

Something I can fix myself, perhaps ?"

"The production is good and the Reindeers are training,

So there's nothing to complain about that. Your work is brilliant.

However, my husband, for some reason, wasn't there this morning,

And I can't find him anywhere. I'm afraid to tell you... that he mysteriously disappeared."

142 words.

Advent Calendar #14 : Pets

Advent Calendar #14 : Pets

Cute little pets also celebrate Christmas ;

Their human friends also give them cute jumpers

To keep them warm when it's cold,

And they're very happy about it.

Will they recieve some presents this year ?

Have they been nice or naughty ?

They will know very rapidly

When they wake up on Christmas day.

Regardless of what happens,

They are very happy, as much as humans,

To participate in this very joyful reunion

With lots of food, gifts and love.

Remember all of the pets who will spend Christmas alone

And cherish the ones you have at home,

Because as the say always proclaims,

They are the best friends of humankind.

112 words.

Advent Calendar #13 : Snowman

Advent Calendar #13 : Snowman

When you leave the snowmen you have done

Behind you as you go back home

For the warmth of a bright chimney and family,

Something very strange happens in your garden.

All the people you just gave birth to

Just start moving around and talking to each other

In murmurs you can not hear,

As they only talk to each other.

The legend says that the gusts of wind at night

Is their little conversation of hope and light

And they protect you from harm as you rejoice

For the end of the year and the beginning of a new one.

101 words.

Advent Calendar #12 : Christmas Lights

Advent Calendar #12 : Christmas Lights

Fairy lights on every house, and in every street,

Illuminating the dark sky where the moon reigns,

Giving warmth and colour when all is white and black

And sending hope all across the world.

When the days are shorts and the nights long,

And the cold is coming throught the windows,

People bundle up under warm blankets

Once the lights are up outside.

The lights represent the hope and the good,

A mirror of the sky and the stars above.

Maybe, if Santa Claus is lost when giving gifts,

He can always find back his way to houses, thanks to the lights.

102 words.

Advent Calendar #11 : Gingerbread Family

Advent Calendar #11 : Gingerbread Family

In a village away from any human interaction

Lives a little gingerbread family

That celebrates every time of the year

The Christmas festivities.

They live in a small gingerbread house

And eat candies at every lunch,

And they have a little Christmas tree

Lit up in their garden.

Just like humans, they lit up electric garlands

To light up the night with some lights of hope

And they sing Christmas carols to their friends

And they all kiss each other under the mistletoe.

All is good in this little family

And they're been very supportive of each other

Since they were born. And when they see Santa Claus

Passing from chimney to chimney, they smile and go to bed.

119 words.

Advent Calendar #10 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 9

Advent Calendar #10 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 9

Morgan, Sandra and Rudolph ended up in Santa's office

With all the other animals that were now targeted

By the Elves and the reindeers

Who wanted "to take their jobs back".

"They won't listen to me, Santa said with a sigh,

And honestly, I feel like it's just an extension

Of the rise of hate among humans. It's perceptible now.

They just want you gone from the Factory."

"But regardless of what they say, you definitely belong here.

You are worth everything and the work you're doing is great.

Never forget that. And now, if any of you had an idea

To bring back the Elves and the reindeers back to work, I am listening."

"I think I have an idea", Morgan said after a couple minutes of reflexion.

They left Santa's office and went downstairs where the strikers

Would talk to each other in angry voices and expressing resentment

Towards the animals who had been hired by Santa this year.

"Elves and reindeers, please listen, they said in the microphone

That was relayed to the whole Factory. I know you're upset about us

And the fact that we're being more and more hired in the Factory.

But I really wanted to remind you of something."

"The world is ever-changing and there are more and more children,

Meaning more and more work to do. That's why Santa decided to open

His job positions to animals from the forest. And trust me, we are very grateful

Of these jobs, and we don't take them for granted."

"Just like you, we fight every day, and we work hard

So that children all around the world have their gifts on Christmas.

Just like you, we have this wonderful dreams of making kids happy

All around the world. And now we're making this dream come true."

"We aren't stealing anything from you, we're helping you,

Just because humans have succumbed to the flames of hatred,

It doesn't mean we have to do the same and plunge headfirst in "purity politics".

We all matter here in the Factory, and we all deserve to participate in the joy of Christmas."

It was hard to convince the Elves and the reindeers to go back to work,

But after a long conversation overnight about the Christmas Dream

That everyone in the Factory shared with each other,

The workforce went to production again.

Thanks to Morgan, the situation had been cleared up,

And Christmas was saved. All children got their presents,

Rudolph and Sandra got to carry the gifts and drive the sleigh,

And the frog got to be appointed "Santa's Little Helper".

A position never awarded to an animal before,

But Morgan was very proud to be the first

To show that Elves, reindeers and animals could work together

For a brighter future and a wonderful Christmas.

169 words.

Advent Calendar #9 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 8

Advent Calendar #9 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 8

(*huggles the chatmom*)

One day, Morgan was working, when all of a sudden,

All the production stopped. They didn't know why,

So they decided to investigate what it was all about.

And they were about to get really surprised...

On top of a machine, the Elves had decided to go on strike,

One month before Christmas, on top of that !

They apparently didn't like the fact that Santa Claus

Was letting more animals in position of power.

"They are taking our roles, and our jobs,

One of the Elves was shouting, before being applaused.

And we can't take that anymore.

This oppression has ended, we're taking the Factory back !"

The Elves weren't the only ones being rebellious so close to Christmas,

As the reindeers had barricaded the access to the sleigh that Santa would use

To bring the gifts to the children all around the world.

They had similar views to the Elves, meaning : "The other animals are job thieves."

Santa Claus was desperate to have the job done,

And if the Elves weren't confectioning the gifts,

And if the reindeers stopped exercising for the Christmas Race,

Christmas would be ruined for all children in the world.

"I can't let this happen, he admitted to Morgan,

Who had become his assistant in the meantime.

I really need someone to motivate the Elves and the Reindeers,

And if they don't comply, find some replacement to ensure Christmas will happen."

250 words.

Advent Calendar #8 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 7

Advent Calendar #8 : Santa's Little Helper, Part 7

(do you read these sara ? <3)

Morgan started their work

As an Inspector of the Elves,

As they were preparing the little toys

The children would recieve for Christmas.

In the meantime, Rudolph and Sandra

Were at the Camp, to be trained

To become Carriers ; Santa had only open

The application to other animals than reindeers last year.

They were welcomed by Santa himself,

Who would train them for a couple of months

So they are ready on Christmas Day

To carry the sleigh bringing the gifts to all the children in the world.

"You have to be strong, and fast, for ur magic powder

Is extremely hard to control and to manoeuver", Santa explained.

"You will have to prove your worth by going on races

And I will only take the best of you."

Sandra and Rudolph, however, weren't very included in the group ;

Sandra, because she was a polar bear, and a minority in the Camp,

And Rudolph, because he was small, and had a blinking red nose.

They had been bullied the whole day, even with their perfect scores.

"We will prove them wrong, don't worry, Sandra said to comfort her friend.

We will go high in the sky and give all the children in the world

What they asked for Christmas. And everyone will be proud of us."

"True, we can't give up now.", the reindeer said, and they went back to work.

233 words.