Clickbait, Sarcasm & Marcus Butler

Clickbait, Sarcasm & Marcus Butler

Hi everybody, Mary here.

Today I am going to be angry, just because I want to.

And I'm going to talk about this recent scandal around Marcus Butler's most recent video, entitled "Why I want to quit YouTube", and how I am utterly pissed off by it.

So this is my message to Marcus (because yes I have time to waste and I love bashing my keyboard uselessly !!!!1!!1!1!1! /sarcasm)

First of all, yes please, Marcus, this is clickbait. The only reason for which I clicked on your video was because I was curious. I mean, I knew you wouldn't quit YouTube, because in the end, it's your job and I don't think you have another one at the moment so you would be pretty much jobless if you decided to throw your entire career (that is entirely dependent on YouTube) through the window.

So yes, I had a few doubts through the video (the glass and faking the crying part and the fake calls sounded very cringey so I was like, seconf-hand embarassed), but in the end, you also had a few valid points that have been brought up by other YouTubers recently.

Because yes, I do believe that all big YouTubers are the same (or at the very least very similar, maybe not in content but in quality of content and point of views on the community in general and how the job of YouTuber is percieved and the reality of it), and also that all big YouTubers are caught up in this race for money, for numbers and for brand deals.

Who are we to blame, though ? After all, it's your job, and you have to do it, no matter what. You have to pay your bills and survive. But this is not an excuse to clickbait and trick your viewers (and me included, who rarely watches your videos !!!!!) and gain views for... nothing I guess ?

I mean, not only your video was pretty bland and tasteless, not funny and fucking tiresome, but also you made fun of people who "don't get sarcasm", saying repeatedly that "[you] can't do anything for [us]". Well I am going to help your little ignorant head out of this bullshit and waves of hate you created around yourself (aren't I nice ?).

1) You asked us "how should [you] have titled it ?" : well, very easy : JUST ADD [sarcasm], [parody], [skit], [sketch], [humour] AT THE END OF THE TITLE !!!!!

But you know damn well that your video wouldn't have gotten the effect it got, it wouldn't have tricked (CLICKBAITED) your viewers, you wouldn't have gotten half of the views you got if you had added just ONE of these words at the end of your title !!!!!

But now I think you've tricked enough people, so if you want to stop the influx of hate comments on this video, it would take you seriously FIVE SECONDS to add ONE WORD to the end of your title. I mean, I could have enjoyed your video if I knew what I was going to get.

2) Please stop making fun of people who "don't get sarcasm". Calling us "eight-year-olds", infantilising us, and out-right ridiculising us is mega-shitty and you should stop. It's not "just young people" you just bashed by incenting hate on them ; you are mocking deliberately anyone who "doesn't get sarcasm" (for example, mentally disabled folks & autistic folks like myself).

And it's pretty ableist from you to say that "everyone should get sarcasm". Because sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And it's okay. I can't believe I'm fighting you over the lack of ONE word in your title that could have gotten you less views (because less people would have been clickbaited) and less "fun" I guess, but you could have avoided all this feud and hate, just by adding one word out of the five I suggested you.

3) Your "excuse" isn't even an excuse. And there are ways of using clickbait that are definitely smarter than this.

For example, the other day, I watched a video made by Annie Elainey, called "How to spot a fake disability" ! And because I knew that Annie is disabled and talking about ableism in her videos, I knew (and she revealed her true intentions by 30 seconds in) that it was sarcasm, because it wouldn't align up with her videos to say "here are the fakers, chase them !!1!1!1!!1!1!"

Also, another example is Ashley Mardell and wanting to make a sarcastic video called "Why I'm Voting For Trump". Ashley being LGBTQ+ and Trump wanting to send our community to conversion therapy camps, I knew this wouldn't align with her usual content and that she would never vote for someone like Trump ! So, when I will watch her video, I will already know that it's sarcasm !

(And even if I didn't know these YouTubers, this use of clickbait ends up in educating content that is nice to watch and not mocking people for perceiving the video as something else that you wanted personally lmao)

And the other examples you showed in this "apology" video ? These are very obvious clickbait titles that are so ridiculous they are uncomparable to the video you just made. However, the video you just released was more dubious and since it held some truths, I was very confused about whether to believe it or not.

In the end, Marcus, please don't do this. I'm not saying "never make sarcasm ever again". But just put a heads-up in the title. I can't believe I'm wasting my time and energy just to say one thing : DON'T BE A DOUCHE AND PUT ONE WORD OUT THE FIVE I SUGGESTED ABOVE. Nothing more.

I will see you soon with a new post.

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

This National Coming-Out Day : Don't Queerbait

This National Coming-Out Day : Don't Queerbait

Hi everybody, Mary here.

Today, October 11th, is National Coming-Out Day... and as you probably already know if you're reading my blog or following me on social media, but I am a pan demi-romantic asexual non-binary person, who also identifies as bigender (demiboy & demigirl).

Now that it's said, I'd like to have a little message : cis & straight people ? DON'T COME OUT !!!!!

As someone who's still, outside of social media, closeted to everyone, it really disgusts me to see that there will be cis & straight people who will use this day to queerbait people and trick them into believing that they might be LGBTQ+, when in reality, they aren't.

I've seen so many videos, regardless of the day and the content creator, called "Coming Out", "I Have A Secret", and so many other titles that are disgusting.

Let's go straight to the point : if you're cis and straight, don't use this day to make "a joke" about coming out. Don't do any pranks where you pretend to "come out" and then go around and say "hahaha it's totally fake, who would think I'm gay/trans ?"

Today, there are thousands, millions of LGBTQ+ kids who will be pondering to come out or not. It happens everyday, but especially today. There are kids like me who would love to be out and proud, and who look up to all these people who have faced homelessness, poverty, a family giving up on them, just so they can express themselves freely and love the people they want to.

Everyday, there are thousands of kids who are kicked out or coming out. Who are sent to conversion therapy for coming out. Who are shunned, disowned, for coming out. Who lose friendships, financial support, and so much more.

Why would you make fun of such situations and pretend it's EASY to come out when it isn't ?

Why would you otherise us so much, make our experiences "funny", make a joke out of a very dire and stressful situation that literally puts us in danger ?

WHY DO YOU HATE LGBTQ+ KIDS SO MUCH ?????

Our experiences aren't "up for grabs". You shouldn't be making money off our backs, over our pain and suffering, over the history of dying and poverty and homelessness. Making fun of experiences that are very real and that can be traumatizing

If you truly respect LGBTQ+ people and their struggles when coming out, let them do it. Listen to them, don't pretend that coming out is "easy" because it isn't, it's a personal, concious choice with consequences in this homophobic, transphobic world.

While I'm at it, DON'T OUT OTHER PEOPLE !!!!! Unless you have their personal consent, don't talk about someone else's queerness with anyone else !!!!!

I think that's pretty much it... I'll see you around with a new post.

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

I Have Chronic Pain ?

I Have Chronic Pain ?

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, a few weeks ago, I started going back to school again ! Yay !

But, you know, good things never come alone... therefore, pain came back.

Since I've been back to school, I've had pain flare-ups : back pain mostly, going through my legs and ankles, but also up to my shoulders and fingers. Recently it has flared up more in my right leg than i my left one and I feel like the right leg is shorter/weaker than the left one ? I don't really know.

(I also have some constriction periods around the heart sometimes and ribcage pain and I can't run for more than 30 seconds without being pantless for minutes afterwards, and have stomach issues and morning nausea right after breakfast, which led me to skip breakfast when I was a kid/teenager until very recently when I decided to have breakfast anyways, which causes a lot of nausea)

(Basically : morning nausea + orthopedic shoe soles & "beginning of scoliosis" since the age of 8, pantless episodes and heart constrictions since the age of 14 to 16, chronic back pain since I was a kid, and now it's just getting worse because I stopped using my shoe soles ?????)

The pain is mostly sharp, as if my bones were dissolving or were bare, and sometimes numb/tingly ? But most of the time it's sharp and I spend most of my free time in bed, with pillows to sustain my back and to have minimal pain.

I already have limited energy because of my autism, dyspraxia and other mental illnesses and already follow the Spoon Theory coined by Christine Miserandino, but this level of pain is sometimes almost unbearable.

When I was a kid, I had (just like my little brother since it's genetic), valgus feet, and a high arc (pes cavus) and "a beginning of scoliosis". I don't really know what it means (maybe it was a very mild scoliosis they thought would be reduced/stopped with the orthopedic shoe soles I had since the age of 8 ?). My little brother also has them and still uses them, but I don't, I think I left them in my last pair of shoes that I stopped using a couple of months ago ?

So if I have scoliosis and issues maybe my little brother has them too ? Or maybe more ?

For now I'm just really confused and in pain... I'll see my doctor soon and whatever happens, happens... If you have any tips on how to talk to the doctor so you can be believed (and get them and your mom to trust you and not blame veganism when if I'm being healthy af and some of the pain had started before I went vegan) ?

I'll see you soon with a new post hopefully !

And as usual, our last word :  KIDNEYS !

Why I'm Pro Self-Diagnosis

Why I'm Pro Self-Diagnosis

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, I really wanted to make a post about self-diagnosis and my stance on people who self-diagnose themselves with one or multiple mental illnesses, personality disorders, or autism.

Personally, I have officially diagnosed autism and dyspraxia, and self-diagnosed mental illnesses and personality disorders (depression anxiety, BPD and OCD). And to be very honest, I am not interested in having my mental illnesses/persoality disorders officially diagnosed (at least for now).

Now, here's why this story explains the reason for my defense of self-diagnoses :

1) Official diagnoses are very usually hard to get, they are expensive and not accessible everywhere. It's very long, and it's very ableist and classist to believe that "anyone can get an official diagnosis" when really, the poorest, most vulnerable people can't access official diagnoses.

2) My personal experiences with my official diagnoses are so bad that I don't want my mental illnesses to be disclosed to the public, no matter how they affect my entire life and how I manage my daily routines.

When I was diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of 11, I was already made fun of by my step-dad, infantilisd by my mom, and otherised by everyone else. I had decided to not tell anyone about my dyspraxia because I thought it was "irrelevant". And I suffered during my studies because of that, because I could hardly take notes and finish my exams. I was even considered "too clever" for accomodations in high-school.

And when I was diagnosed with autism this year, at the age of 20, I recieved so much ableism from my entire family. I was the butt of the joke by my step-dad and I had to flee the house behind his back when he was away with my little brother camping... and even my mother, no matter how good her intentions are, still thought that 1) autism affected her as much as it affected me, and acted like one of these "autism moms" who are like "woe of me I am so hurt" and 2) basically denied my testimonies to talk about autism...

Having an official diagnosis literally puts you in danger in front of neuro-typical people. Being out as neuro-divergent can cause you to have ties with your family and friends cut off, and you realise how even people you previously thought would be on your side no matter what revealed their ableism and how they basically treat you differently because of your official diagnosis.

My step-dad, who was already abusive as fuck, was even more abusive when he learnt about my dyspraxia, and then autism. My mom keeps telling me she's relieved when she learnt about my dyspraxia, and then autism, but kept talking over me most of the time. I have been compared to Hitler and my abusive step-dad, and almost physically beaten up and thrown in multiple panic attacks where I cried by my uncle and aunt.

3) The idea that you need an official diagnosis to get accomodations you deserve, knowing the previous points, and how official diagnoses also can put you through forced medicalisation, institutionalisation and unwanted therapy,

When I was diagnosed with dyspraxia, I had to meet neurologists and go through physical therapy where they treated me like a 5-year-old with very ridiculous exercices, up to the point where I had to ask my mom, crying in the car, that I don't want to do this anymore. I had been there for a year before it stopped.

Now that I have also been diagnosed with autism, I have already met one psychologist (for the pre-tests), and two psychiatrists (one for the official diagnosis, one afterwards). The fact that as soon as my mom opened her mouth, the doctors would basically ignore me and just talk about me with her without consulting me... was insulting. It's not like I can be non-verbal sometimes, or I can't answer the question, and all of a sudden I am invisible and people talk over me constantly.

The second psychiatrist was the worst. Asking me personal details about my life, my special interests, I didn't want to tell him. My mom and uncle then talked over me and told him about them, how I love "childish things" and they proceeded to make fun of them in front of me. They made my mom cry by asking questions that mad her feel guilty, that made me cry, and then my uncle proceeded to brush off my concerns and internalised guilt.

TL;DR : Basically, when you're against self-diagnosis, you are an ableist piece of shit. You are pressuring people who can't or don't want to go through the process of official diagnoses, you're basically telling them that our validity as neuro-divergent people are only valid if they fit in very narrow boxes created by neuro-typical people, that you don't care about the negative experiences neuro-divergent people talk about constantly, and how being officially diagnosed otherises, ridiculises and puts you in danger just for wanting accomodations.

To my fellow neuro-divergent people : Of course not all official diagnoses stories are bad and I don't want to scare you if you want an official diagnosis. If you really want it, you should definitely get one, especially if you want one. You shouldn't be afraid of asking for an official diagnosis or be pressured to be quiet about it and not talk about it. After all, this is for you, so you should be proud of your neuro-divergence. I love you, you are beautiful. Stay safe.

Okay, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed this post and I will see you very soon with a new one.

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

Hate Online and Social Justice

Hate Online and Social Justice

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, I really wanted to address hate and how people who deal with "sensitive topics" recieve more hate than ever... and I will make a couple of quick points right now.

1) I really love seeing how Americans are so attached to their "freedom of speech". Because as a French person, the only definition I know of freedom if speech is the right to express yourself in public spaces or in the media without fearing censorship from the government or a position of power. (and it is the actual definition of freedom of speech)

2) Basically, I believe that sending unneccesary hate, doxxing, death threats, threats of violence, mockery, hate videos, incitation to hate or violence don't fall in the "freedom of speech" category. You are just being a complete asshole with nothing else to do with their time rather than spending your time and your efforts into slandering, plagarising, and sending hate to people you know are just talking about subjects that affect their daily lives. So calm the fuck down and take a breath. Go out with your friends. Watch some of your favourite movies or TV shows. I'm pretty damn sure there are millions of things that are better to do than send hate over the Internet.

3) I am open to criticism and arguments that do not necessarily agree with me, and opening my mind to different perspectives. However, I do believe that saying "the things you claim to exist do not actually exist" or "quit whining, others have it worse" aren't a "conversation". You are just trying to derail the conversation, make it about you or your supposed "pawns", claiming that our experiences aren't actually real and you are being a condescending, ableist prick (because derealisation is real and it affects many people).

Basically, here's my stance : there are topics on which you cannot have "debates". You can't have a "debate" on whether women should be able to abort or not, especially if you are a man. You can't have a "debate" on "whether misogyny is a systematic oppression by society or not". You can't have a "debate" on "whether you see the struggles of women, POCs, disabled people, or otherwise marginalised people exist as real or not".

Most of the time, our "social justice" articles, posts, videos and other creations are not here to make us look more enlightened or more educated than you. Sure, everyone can learn and everyone's been ignorant before educating themselves (myself included !). But there's a difference between having a debate on valid topics and sending hate. There's a difference between having a debate on a valid topic and basically saying that our oppression isn't real, our experiences aren't real or we are just making up stories "for attention", all while throwing ableist slurs at our faces.

If you aren't willing to learn and educate yourself when you have the possibility to do so, and when we're making our stories available to you so you can become a better person, then you are just a jerk who doesn't deserve any of my attention or my time. Goodbye forever.

Okay, that's pretty much for this post, and I will see you soon with a new one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

In Defense of Trigger Warnings and Safe Spaces

In Defense of Trigger Warnings and Safe Spaces

Hi everybody, Mary here.

Today, I am going to talk about my defense of trigger warnings and safe spaces.

My stance on it is very clear :

If you don't care or hate trigger warnings, it just means you never needed trigger warnings. If you don't care or hate safe spaces, it means you never needed safe spaces. I am pretty happy to see that you are never thrown into a panic attack because of something that reminds you of a traumatic experience or your abuser or anything harmful to you. I am pretty happy to see that you have never been under the fire for expressing your hate against the discrimination and oppression you face because of who you are and what you cannot change.

I could literally stop this post right here, but since y'all need clearer, simpler explanations apparently, here is me trying to explain that in the simplest ways possible :

Trigger warnings are like disclaimers about things that are going to be shown. It is meant to protect people who have traumatic experiences with a specific thing or have things that remind them of their abuser and are thrown into a pit of anxiety, or even panic attacks. I, myself, have been thrown into a panic attack because of a simple YouTube video... and trust me, it is not nice to see me under a panic attack. I paced around my flat for around an hour, screaming and stomping my feet into the ground, and people living around me in this building probably thought I should be hospitalised over this. If the video had trigger warnings, I would have avoided a complete meltdown, oh, and also, another panic attack when I remembered the video two days later. But apparently it is "okay" to send people through panic attacks because you aren't "triggered" by what triggers me.

Trigger warnings do not mean censorship or "you shouldn't talk about this because I don't want you to and you should be censored !!1!!1!" (except hate, I hate people who spread violent, deliberate hate and these people need to stop tbh). It just means "here is a list of things that trigger me, remind me of my past trauma, or can cause debilitating anxiety, and I would like you to put a tag on them so I can stay safe online because this is my wish"... and it's not that complicated to understand.

I have seen a lot of people who are against trigger warnings advocating for "exposure therapy", where people are just shown their triggers "until they aren't "triggers" anymore". Not only this is pretty ableist but it also shows the ignorance of these people who probably never dealt with anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD or anything that can "trigger them" because of their trauma or past/current abuse. Most of these people are neuro-typical, never showed a single mental illness, personality disorder or any kind of trauma/abuse and they're here to tell me, a mentally ill person with depression, anxiety, BPD and OCD, and who's an abuse survivor dealing with trauma, how to deal with my own problems.

Listen very carefully because I will not say it once : I want to be safe online. I know that "the real world" doesn't cater to me and my neurodivergent needs, I know that most NT people are ableist as hell and I know that accomodations are hard to get !!!!! But the Internet is the place where I created my little haven where I can be myself and protect myself from harm and have a little bit of fun !!!!! What's wrong with wanting to be safe, even if it means you try to avoid your triggers as much as possible ????? It's definitely better than to have panic attacks over a couple seconds in a video clip and you're very ableist if you disagree with that !!!!!

Now let's talk about safe spaces. Safe spaces do not mean "people who never want their ideas to be challenged, criticised, or people who don't want to have any discussion with people who disagree with them and who try to make them see through a different perspective". It just means "We, mostly marginalised people, would love to talk about our oppression and marginalisation and discrimination and societal hate, and we'd like to make fun of ridiculous situations we are put through everyday, or we'd like to have conversations about how being [insert marginalised identity here] is making our life harder, and we would like to have spaces that are free from hate". It's not very complicated to understand, am I right ?

Safe spaces are spaces where you can freely talk about "sensitive topics" such as gender, sexuality, ableism, classism, being a POC, feminism, intersectionality, and such. Most of us talking about these topics recieve unnecessary hate, harassment, slandering, hate videos, plagiarising of content, and such. This deserves a post within itself but basically, when I see my favourite content creators who talk so eloquently about these topics that need to be adressed, I can't help but wanting to report all of them (I just don't have any energy to do it).

Basically, a safe space doesn't mean we're not open to criticism, or challenging our ideas, or having a conversation with people who hold different viewpoints. But I'm pretty damn sure that death threats, threats of violence or abuse or rape are not what you claim to be "criticism" or "a discussion". It is hate and it needs to stop.

Anyways, I will stop this post here, and the next one will probably be about "hate online". So stay tuned for it ! :)

And as usual, our last word ; KIDNEYS !

France Is Not Your Pawn For Your Islamophobia

France Is Not Your Pawn For Your Islamophobia

(Disclaimer : I am not a Muslim and therefore not a victim of islamophobia, but I am French and I try very hard to support my Muslim siblings, however if I made any mistake or something shitty please tell me !)

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, recently I watched a couple of videos about US politics and what Trump supporters say versus what Clinton supporters say, and all these videos that remind everyone of how Trump is very bad and you shouldn't vote for him...

And there is one specific thing I particularly dislike among Trump supporters and something they say, especially to support their islamophobia and how Trump wants to ban all Muslim people from entering the country.

It's "look at France though, they let in Muslims and now they're under attack from terrorism !", "if that woman was braless in France, she would be raped by a bunch of Muslim people !", "look at France being invaded by Muslims !", "look at France, that Muslim country where people are forced to comply to their Muslim invadors !", "France is the example that shows why Muslims are terrorists and shouldn't be let in our beautiful country of the USA !"...

And as an actual French person, here I am to debunk this blatant islamophobia.

Here are a few true facts about France :

1) We only have 5 million Muslim people out of what, 65-70 million French people ? We aren't invaded. That's not a lot. Sure, it is the second largest religion, but remember the first one is Christianity. Does that mean we should beware of "the Christian invasion" ?????

2) We are not ruled by Muslims/their "law", we aren't "complying to some made-up invadors", and we aren't "threatened" by Muslim people. I work with them, I do my groceries alongside them, they are my mailman, my cashier, my baker, they are normal people living normal lives. Not once in my life have I been threatened by a Muslim person while doing literally anything in my life. Wow, what a concept.

3) If you can't differenciate DAESH/Al-Qeida from Islam, then I am sorry to break it to you but suddenly I can't make the difference between the KKK/the Westboro Baptist Church and Christianity. Don't ask me why this is flawed, I just apparently am down to your level of generalisation, hate and ignorance ! Wow ! Fucking amazing ! /sarcasm

4) France is, although very islamophobic, trying to accept Muslim people more and more everyday. Sure we have a lot of work to do and we're very shitty people. But our government is here to remind us to be proud of our cultural and religious diversity, that makes our country unique and beautiful. And we're trying to progress. Slowly, but surely. I have hope in this country and its people. We can do it.

Basically, France is not your pawn for your islamophobia. I am an actual French person living in France right now and I can assure you that I would welcome all Muslim people who wish to live here. I am not afraid of some stereotype that silly people like you made up to "justify" your blatant hatred.

I am not your pawn for your hatred against Islam. French people are not your pawns for your vile, disgusting hate. It's disrespectful for all French people, for Muslim people, and especially French Muslims, who deserve so much better than your bullshit.

I. AM. NOT. YOUR. PAWN.

Okay, that's pretty much it for now, I hope you enjoyed this post and I will see you very soon with a new one !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !